I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
