TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
