Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Barsexuality is the new black.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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