He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
