I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
