my soul wont recognize me after tonight
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My ATM looks so different sober.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
