it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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