and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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