i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize