dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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