So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
