I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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