I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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