Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
