So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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