my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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