If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize