Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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