i just had sex bonerless
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
