somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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