You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
