He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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