I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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