i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
