Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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