Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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