It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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