i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Randomize
