This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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