my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize