Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
