if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize