Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize