Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
