Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
