why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
