I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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