too bad you live with your parents still
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
