are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
