God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
even my farts smell like vagina
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
