Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
