i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
