I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
