I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
