508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
