So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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