Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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