we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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