what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
