Is it normal to miss your booty call?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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