So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
