I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
