dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
