Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
