it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize