She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
