I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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