You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
