Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We need to rekindle our bromance
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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