do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
