so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My dick has a subreddit
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
