Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
