just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just found puke in my bra..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize