yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
